Anal sex – or anal play – is an activity that many couples enjoy incorporating into their sex lives. While it isn’t exactly a “standard” addition to a sexual relationship, statistically, most couples incorporate some form of anal play (finger stimulation, rimming, toy play, or penetration) into their sexual rotation at least occasionally. While anal sex is definitely not for everyone, it could be, with the proper education to enhance pleasure and decrease discomfort. There is much to learn about anal stimulation, so if you have been thinking about exploring anal play or have already had it and want to make it even more enjoyable, then read on.


For many people – probably more than not – a huge deterrent to exploring any type of anal stimulation is that it is said to be painful for the receiver. The loads of misinformation regarding anal sex has led so many women (and men) to shy away from anal play simply for the fear that it will hurt. Or, perhaps anal sex was attempted and due to being misinformed or having a partner who was not patient and caring, anal sex WAS painful and therefore, there is no desire to try again. No one really wants sex to be painful, right? Well I am here to tell you; anal sex shouldn’t hurt – ever. If it does, then there is something missing from the equation.

Here is the first component in having anal sex which is pleasurable, and not painful – LUBE!. There is no way that you should ever being having anal sex (or anal stimulation in general) without lubrication. The anal canal is not self-lubricating, which means that anal sex will not be smooth or feel good unless some lubricant is added. Furthermore, the tissue (skin) in the rectum is fragile, and can rip or tear without caution, care and lube. The biggest reason that anal sex becomes painful is a lack of lubrication. Anal sex without lube is like getting an internal rug burn – it hurts! You can never have too much lube. You should lube his penis (or finger), any toys AND you should put some lubricant up inside of the anal canal via a finger. You also should not be afraid to re-apply lubricant so that the pathway stays nice and slippery.

So, lesson number 1 in having pleasing anal play is to remember that anal sex shouldn’t hurt, and to avoid the pain you need lube.

I am sure that you realize that the anal canal is used to expel feces (poop) from the human body. It is an exit-only canal that truly was not designed to have objects placed up inside. However, there are many preparatory steps that can be taken to help make anal sex or stimulation fun, pleasurable, clean and not painful. We do prep for standard intercourse too sometimes, right? We clean ourselves up, perhaps wax or shave, we get lubricants prepared – in short, we prepare our body for the event. With anal play this is even more beneficial.

Cleaning the playzone. We have already established that the anal canal is what helps feces exit the body, so it stands to reason that sticking anything up there, or licking the anal opening (rimming) can be a bit dirty if the playzone is not properly cleaned, right? From the giver’s standpoint, playing down there without worry is a huge benefit to having a pleasing experience. There is bacteria present that shouldn’t get into her vagina if possible, so the cleaner the better, to avoid any cross contamination.

From the receiver’s point of view, knowing that this area is as clean as possible is important for worry free play. So, the first rule of prep is to, at least, clean up the nether area with a soapy washcloth or wet wipe to get any debris that may be hanging around down there. Also, stick the cloth or wipe up into the rectum via a finger to further clean the area. This will eliminate and remnants of bowel movements, eliminate odor, and make the experience overall cleaner.

Are enemas necessary? For some people, the idea of having anal stimulation is greatly deterred by “the mess factor.” Meaning, feces leakage. They do not feel that simply washing with a wet wipe is going to clean them thoroughly enough. Or, they have attempted anal play and it has been less pleasing because their anal canal had a blockage (poop) that made it more difficult to achieve anal penetration. So, many people wonder if performing an enema (when you clean out your lower bowels via a solution that is forced up into the anus, and then released, eliminating any feces present) would be beneficial to more comfortable anal play. I term this “advanced prep” because this is for the hard-core anal players who really want an extremely clean play area, or are going to engage in full-on anal penetration, and not just finger stimulation.


Do you and your partner enjoy anal sex? Do you think that doggy style is the only way to achieve it? Well guess again my little friends, there are many different positions to try for anal sex and some may even take eating out of it for the receiver! Yes, you read that right! So CLICK HERE for the 10 best anal positions for the next time you are doing it booty style.



Butt plugs have multiple purposes for anal play and pleasure. They can (and should) be used to prepare and gently expand the anal canal for anal stimulation and penetration and they can be used, on their own, to provide anal stimulation and pleasure. Butt plugs are specially made to provide a smooth insertion into the anal canal to expand the opening and allow the anal muscles to expand and relax. They are also made so that they cannot be lost inside the anal canal (if there is no stopper on the end, it is possible for the item to be sucked up into the anal canal). When used prior to anal penetration, a butt plug will allow the receiver to relax into anal play and to be better prepared for actual anal stimulation, and when the penis or toy is inserted there will not need to be as much stretching of the rectal muscles to accept it. Beginner anal plugs. It seems sensical to ease an anal newbie into anal play before attempting full on anal play, right? Butt plugs are absolutely wonderful for achieving this. Many beginner’s anal play sets come with a set of 3 anal plugs that range from very small (perhaps a finger in diameter) to a bit larger (2 fingers in diameter). Using a beginner’s plug set for newbie play has the following benefits:

1. It gently eases the recipient into the experience of anal penetration.

2. It allows for greater control of the object being inserted. The depth, speed and lubrication level can be monitored more specifically.

3. You can begin with a smaller plug, then gently increase in size, until the largest plug is used, thereby gently easing the receiver into greater sizes.

4. You can give other stimulations during play, such as oral sex, to even more relax the recipient and make the experience positive and pleasurable.

Butt plugs for play. Sometimes we don’t think about using a butt plug just for anal pleasure, especially if we are not in a relationship at the moment and are playing solo. The truth is, but plugs can bring pleasure on their own, used during intercourse, or as foreplay with a partner. Many people do not really know HOW to incorporate a butt plug into their sexual play. If you find yourself in this situation, READ HERE!


Butt plugs are not the only anal toy out there. In fact, there are many different types of anal toys, and each one will give you a different sensation during anal play. There is actually a lot to be said about anal toys, how to use them, how to pick one, how to incorporate them into sexual situations. For more information, READ HERE! 


Anal beads are basically different sized beads (think marbles) that are connected on a string or are molded into a very, very thin dildo-type toy. You insert these into the rectum during or before foreplay or sex, and then take them out at the time of orgasm, which increases the intensity.



The most fascinating thing about anal sex is that it is an activity that can, and is, pleasurable for all people. Male or female. Gay, straight or lesbian. No matter your gender or sexual orientation, anal play is universally exciting and pleasing. A common misconception is that men who want anal play must be homosexual. Nothing is further from the truth! What feels good, feels good. Many people ask, “WHY, should I have anal sex?” Do you want to know what men & women get out of anal sex? READ HERE!

In short, though, anal sex, when done correctly, feels amazing for males as well as females. The anal canal is exactly the same for both males and females, so the pleasure is the same. Males do have a prostate that can be stimulated during anal play, which makes it possible to experience even greater pleasure! Keep this in mind, guys, when you are asking your partner to engage in anal sex. What is good for the goose, is good for the gander.

Prostate massagers for men. Prostate massagers are a wonderful item for men who want to explore anal play that is specifically designed just for them. These massagers are designed with a curved end that will hit the prostate when inserted properly into the anal canal. Many men report that any orgasm they achieve when a prostate massager is inserted is more intense than without. Who could argue with that? Do you want to know how to stimulate your partner's prostate? Click HERE > How To Stimulate Your Partner's Prostate


Now that you have heard our opinions on lubricants, prepping, toys, plugs and even prostate massagers. It is time to go forth and have good anal sex! Following the suggestions here, trying to have the most fun you possibly can, while making sure that you truly are mentally prepared for anal sex will ensure you have a satisfying experience. Now, all that is left to do is to experiment with what you like and don’t like. Find a position that is fun, shop for some anal toys to use, discover your favorite anal lubricant. All of this will come with time.